| A common theme for battered mothers in | | | | battering maneuver...a control ploy. |
| divorce proceedings is that they begin thinking | | | | I liken it to a coyote howling or a dog barking in |
| they are holding the winning hand when it comes | | | | the night. While that loud obnoxious noise can |
| to domestic violence and child custody. They | | | | keep you stirring, you know on a deeper level |
| typically are awarded temporary custody of their | | | | that this is just what these animals do. |
| minor children and may even have protective | | | | Dogs bark and coyotes howl. And what we think, |
| orders in place. | | | | feel and do within the privacy of our own homes |
| Then, "out of the blue," the tide turns and their | | | | about that makes absolutely no difference. Dogs |
| children are pulled right from under them-handed | | | | bark and coyotes howl. |
| over to the custody of their father who is, more | | | | And did you know that abusers use healthcare |
| often than not, an abuser. | | | | providers and police officers to establish false |
| It's a devastating blow, like none other. Between | | | | claims against domestic violence survivors. I hope |
| the heart-wrenching pain and the primitive rage, | | | | you heard me, because this fact is as true as the |
| little resources remain intact to make sense out | | | | one about dogs and coyotes. |
| of the unconscionable. | | | | What TO DO If This Is You |
| How Did This Happen? | | | | If you are the battered mother in this story, |
| The legal maneuver that yielded their unfortunate | | | | realize that your anger and sadness will not get |
| circumstance is also beyond comprehension. | | | | your kids back into your arms, into your house or |
| Frequently it involves a legal psychiatric ploy of | | | | into your life. However, if you get smart and |
| establishing that the mother has a severe | | | | busy, instead of remaining angry and sad, you will |
| personality disorder. | | | | increase your likelihood of turning the tide. |
| But, even this is disturbing. A personality disorder, | | | | So how does one do that under the influence of a |
| in and of itself, is not grounds to prohibit a parent | | | | devastating crash? How do you take your |
| free access to their minor children and | | | | hurricane Katrina and let it carve the path to your |
| vise-a-versa. So, one must go deeper to | | | | hope? |
| understand what exactly is in play here. | | | | First and foremost, truly understand that |
| The abuser (most often a man in this particular | | | | batterers use the system to establish false claims |
| situation) and his legal team have diligently worked | | | | about the victims they seek to control. And in this |
| to manipulate the psychiatric and psychological | | | | genuine understanding, you will see that all of this |
| healthcare providers/evaluators into establishing | | | | is NOT about you. Rather, it is merely what |
| false claims about the mother in order to jockey | | | | abusers do when given the opportunity and |
| custody. And sadly, these claims are often untrue. | | | | means to enlist the system in their campaign. |
| What NOT TO DO If This Is You | | | | Now with this understanding, you can march |
| Now each situation is different, granted, but there | | | | onward and get smart and busy. First, you will |
| are some common themes applicable to all people | | | | want to learn everything you can about "legal |
| in this predicament. | | | | psychiatric abuse" and crazy-making in divorce. |
| 1) You maybe angry, but don't stay angry. | | | | Then, you will want to find a credible professional |
| 2) You maybe sad, but don't lose yourself in your | | | | to help you campaign your plight toward realizing |
| despair. | | | | your truth for the safety of you and your |
| 3) See the legal psychiatric ploy for what it is-a | | | | children. |